Five Years….

1924301_1069398179493_8131_nWhen I began writing this blog, one of the immediate benefits came from my mother.  She loved it.

In the early days, the blog was filled with stories of our family and as mother’s health had begun to fail, these stories helped to refresh her memory.

She would print out each story and kept them to share with daddy and her friends.  For me it was an ego boost that she liked the stories enough to share and also that my recollections were helping her.

For her next-to-last Christmas, I bound the stories and gave them to her as a gift, I was so proud as she opened the package.  She was a proud mama and I was an incredibly happy son.

When mama died, I found it hard to keep writing, it just wasn’t the same.

Nothing is the same since mama died.

Today marks five years since she left, it isn’t any easier, it just…. is.

Time passes and things happen, and the first person I want to call when something in my life happens is my mama.  How many times I have picked up the phone to call her.

Something important happens and the first thing I want to do is hug my mama, I long for those hugs more than anything on this earth.

You hear it gets easier, it doesn’t, it just gets more manageable.

I miss my mother with every fiber of my being, but I feel her presence in everything I do.

My faith guides me in knowing that her days are filled with overwhelming joy and unending awesomeness.

I can only imagine the life that she now leads, free of sickness and bursting with wonder in all that she enjoys.

Today I will be sad, I will miss my mama a little more today than yesterday.  I will most likely shed a tear, or two…. that is only natural.  But I will also sing praises and thank God for allowing me to be the son of Martha Joyce Bellamy Rumsey.

I am thankful for all that my mama was and continues to be.  I am thankful that she continues to guide me and I smile at the memories she left in my heart.

It’s been five years, sometimes it seems like yesterday and other times it seems like a lifetime ago.  What I have learned over these years is, my mama is no longer physically with me, but her presence is with me at every breath I take and for that I am eternally grateful.

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