Sequestration Solved

I realize this video looks like I am being held captive and making an appeal for ransom…. it’s my first one so be kind!

Quiet-Please-Meeting-Progress-Sign-SE-5394Mr. President, Speaker Boehner, Leader Reid, Mr. Vice-President, other elected Congressional Leaders, I want to thank you all for attending today’s meeting.

Mr. President thank you for directing your cabinet to be with us and Chief Justice Roberts, thank you for being with us as well.

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce myself, I am Kendall Rumsey, a United States citizen.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am here today representing the American people, with all due respect, let me just say…. we are sick and tired of all of you. 

I am here today, as your boss…. yes, I am your boss, and I am here to take control.  You have proven for the last several years that you are unable, or unwilling,  to govern.  We understand that your priority is political victory, our priority is the American people, the American dream, the America of greatness that we have proven to be for over 230 years.

We the people blame you all and effective immediately things are going to change.

With all of your busy schedules, I don’t want to take up too much of your time, with that said, allow me to make it easy for you.

Eighteen months ago you established this “sequester” as the nuclear test that we would never get to.  The sequester was designed to force you to work together and make dramatic changes to our nation’s budget and spending.  You set up this sequester as the goal line you would never cross…..  you crossed it on Friday.

Unfortunately you allowed the nuclear sequester to explode without even an attempt to stop it or improve it.

With your inability to work together, I am here to tell you what is going to happen, how it will happen and what the consequences are if it doesn’t happen.

The sequester cuts $85,000,000,000 from a $3,803,000,000,000 budget (85 billion from 3.8 trillion).  That’s approximately 2.4% of the budget, yes, 2.4%….. all of this over 2.4%.

Ladies and gentlemen, here’s the deal.  You each have 30 days to cut 2.4% of your budget.  In these cuts you are not to eliminate a single job, no one is to be laid off.  However, for the next 3 years, you also are under a hiring freeze.

I am confident that each one of you will find 2.4% of reasonable pork, waste or whatever you want to call it in your budget, but you will find it and you will cut it.

We will all gather back here in 30 days, if those cuts are not met, you are fired.  Period end of story.

You are all smart people, it’s time you started acting like it.  We the people deserve better.

Allow me to get you started, Mr. Vilsack, Secretary of Agriculture, let’s begin with you.

Mr. Vilsack, your discretionary budget for 2013 accounts for $23,000,000,000 (23 Billion).  Let’s look at how we can eliminate 2.4% of your budget, that accounts for approximately $552,000,000.

In reviewing your budget I see an expenditure of 1.8 billion dollars for marketing and regulatory programs, now I am a marketing guy, that is how I pay my bills, but come on, 1.8 BILLION for marketing.  Let’s just make it simple and say NO…. you now have 1.2 billion for marketing, will you really notice the difference?

Anyone else need me to help with your budget?  I have full confidence that you all are going to jump right in and get this taken care of, after all remember you now have 30 days to finish, if not YOU’RE FIRED!

We are America, the greatest country ever imagined, we have overcome every obstacle that has ever been placed before us, we can and will do this.  Folks it is time for you to step up and prove your worth, the games must end, we the people demand it.

Step up and become patriots, your jobs will be safe when you prove you can and will work together for the common good.

This meeting is all about cuts, we will reconvene if need be to discuss other issues affecting our nation in the future, however I hope that will not be necessary.  You are all big boys and girls, it is time to start acting like it.  The future of America is more important than your next election or the fringe of either party.

Step up, get it done and make America’s greatness abundantly clear from this moment forward.

The clock is ticking…. tick, tock, tick, tock!

5 thoughts on “Sequestration Solved

  1. Well said. The pork barrel spending and over regularatory idiots running these programs are the biggest portion of the problem. Over zealous employees can cause a mountain of problems. For example 1 person complained about a soup kitchen serving deer meat, the officials moved in, destroyed 1600 lbs of properly processed deer meat was thrown in a dumpster and had clorox poured over the meat. If it was illegal to serve in public places, the vaccumed packed meat could have been sent home with the people who wanted the food.

  2. Oh, I so hope that the American public does not swallow the bilge that a 2% cut (not even a real cut–just reductions in the proposed INCREASES in spending!) can only come from laying off teachers, police, TSA screeners, or whatever other miseries they can inflict on the general public. Not sure I’d bet the farm that the scare tactics won’t work (again) though. We did elect these people. It’s nice to dream of a “Dave” (See the movie trailer on balancing the budget at http://youtu.be/ZARAldXlSyA. Sorry–hopeless at inserting hyperlinks), but he never had to win an election.

  3. Pingback: Short Notes ~ Flight Delays, Sequestrations Slap in the Face to Americans | Notes from a Southern Kitchen

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